Brian J. O'Connor

The Grand Experiment: Cutting kid costs

This week's target in the Grand Experiment, in which I try to cut $100 from 10 categories of my family budget, is "Offspring." That means my boy, Your Money Jr. or, as we call him, Li'l Money, cuz that's all he leaves us.

This was a tough one. His food and other costs are lumped in with the rest of the family budget and, at 7 years old, he doesn't run up extra expenses, such as sports leagues, car insurance or bail.

My first thought was to adopt corporate cutback policies, and furlough the young 'un two days a week to his grandmother's, where the savings on chicken tenders and Cheerios alone would put me over this project's $1,000 final goal. But I nixed that idea on the grounds that even in retirement, my mother maintains a level of housekeeping that is a combination of June Cleaver, Emily Post and the Marine drill instructor from "Full Metal Jacket."

We might save, but Grandma would get her revenge, sending him back with demands for home-made ice box cookies, vacuumed floors, dry-cleaned light bulbs and ironed pajamas.

I'm not kidding. This woman still does mending.Spying a hole in Li'l Money's socks on his last visit, she scowled and asked, "Don't you darn his socks?"

"Sure, mom," I replied. "As soon as we get home, I'll throw them in the trash and say, 'These socks are shot. Darn.' "

Few options elsewhere

All the other kid categories offered little hope of savings, from his bargain-priced college savings plan to nominal public school fees. My wife finds incredible bargains on his clothes, and I occasionally root through the office supply cabinet for school supplies. (You run a few grease pencils under a hack saw and tell me that isn't the same thing as crayons.) Knocking out his summer day camp seemed like an option, but savings would be more than offset by his mother's increased spending on prescriptions and tequila.

The other big budget item devoted to my boy is untouchable: speech therapy. Li'l Money could also be nick-named Li'l Talker, because of a severe language delay. He's been diagnosed as a late talker, and his speech development will catch up -- but only with a lot of help.

That includes private speech therapy, specialists and consultants, as well as a $190-an-hour special education attorney who has had to help us keep some specialists from making the common -- but harmful -- mistake of pushing a late talker into programs for autism.

None of it comes cheap, and none of it is covered by insurance.

Tax break proves saving grace

But there is one place we can get a break: taxes. Setting up a flexible spending account to cover $4,000 of medical expenses takes that money right off the top of the family's taxable income. At our tax rates, that knocks an even $1,200 off our projected tax tab to Uncle Sam for this year, according to the handy-dandy IRS withholding calculator at www.irs.gov.

The same break applies to the Michigan state income tax, according to Joel Ungar, a partner with Maddox Ungar Silberstein PLLC in Bingham Farms, and Jay Kennedy, former chairman of the State Bar Taxation Section and senior counsel at Warner Norcross in Southfield. That cuts $174 off our state tax bill, for a total of $114.50 in monthly savings, which shows up in each paycheck after my withholding is adjusted.

That puts me over the $100 goal for the week, for a total of $428.39 in cuts. I'd celebrate with some (domestic) champagne, but I have a feeling the money will mostly go for chicken tenders and Cheerios.

boconnor@detnews.com (313) 222-2145