Deb Price

Gays have right to attend high school proms

A flyer announcing this year's prom at Jim Hill High School in Jackson, Miss., stated upfront what at many schools is usually a far more subtle message to gay students: "All dates must be of the opposite sex."

The flyer, posted around the school, fortunately caught the eye of Brittany Crowell, a heterosexual senior who, thanks to her volunteer work at the American Civil Liberties Union, knows the rights of her gay friends.

The 17-year-old took one of the flyers to the ACLU, which wrote to the principal and district superintendent to explain that banning same-sex dates from the prom would violate the court-recognized constitutional rights of gay students.

Two days later, Brittany spotted a "revised announcement" on bulletin boards: Gone were all four references to allowing only dates of the opposite sex. (School officials declined my repeated requests for comment.)

Why did Brittany stand up for the right of classmates to take someone of the same sex to the school prom?

"I'm a friendly person, and I have gay friends. Everybody should be free," she says.

Last weekend was also prom for Louisville High School in Louisville, Ohio. A gay senior had been told by school officials that "it has always been a tradition that prom is an event made for couples of the opposite sex." The ACLU intervened, and the school backed down.

If you are a gay teen being told you can't take the date of your choice to the prom, the ACLU has a letter that you can print out and hand to your principal to explain your legal rights. (Go to aclu.org/lgbtprom.)

If that feels scary, try to feel empowered by Aaron Fricke, who successfully sued his Rhode Island high school in 1980 to take his same-sex date to the prom.

Fricke made it possible for you to go to your prom because he stood up for himself -- despite being ridiculed, spat on and beaten so badly that he needed five stitches under his eye.

If you stand your ground on taking your date to the prom, you'll inspire other gay and straight kids to do the same when they find themselves facing injustices. And you'll gain strength that you'll be able to tap for the rest of your life.

Many gay students, of course, just don't want to butt heads with school authorities over prom rules. Especially for them, the good news is that a growing number of gay centers are hosting prom-like parties where gay teens can feel free to be themselves.

Affirmations in Ferndale, for example, will host the "Viva Las Vegas" prom for youths aged 14 to 20 on May 16. (For tickets: goaffirmations.org.)

"We provide a safe space so youths can dance and just have fun," youth program supervisor Kyle Hadley says of the annual event that attracts up to 250 young people.

Such prom-like parties are a great idea. But a school prom is a unique rite of passage. No student who wants to go should miss out.

If you are a straight high school student with a scared or shy gay friend, embrace Brittany as your role model: Take the ACLU letter to school officials and insist that gay couples be welcome at your prom.

Brittany says her heart soared on prom night when she saw two girls dancing together: "I feel very good I was able to make a difference."

dprice@detnews.com (202) 662-8736